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I'm really bad at resolutions. I never make them because I'm so busy preparing for Christmas and my son's birthday (which falls between Christmas and New Year's) that New Year's is always an afterthought. I find myself floundering to come up with ideas at the last minute and giving up halfway through because I don't want to commit to something out of sheer panic.
Maybe you're like me, and maybe you're not. But one thing I do know is that many people use resolutions to force themselves to lose weight. This is a noble endeavor for sure, and some people are even successful at it. More power to those who are. But for those of us who struggle with weight loss, it can be a very self-defeating resolution to make. Whether you fall into that category or whether you just want to try a different kind of commitment for the New Year, I've compiled a list of resolutions that have nothing to do with weight loss. I might even try one or two! (Jury's still out...)
1. Read More
Are you a book lover like me? Are you also a mom who does everything for everyone else and only sits down when it's bedtime...also like me? If 2020 has taught us anything, it is that we need to slow down and take time for ourselves. Set a goal for yourself. "I'm going to read x number of books this year," and then set time aside to do it in whatever way works best for you: reading each night before bed, setting a day or two each month for a read-a-thon. If you're looking for book inspiration, check out the links below.
2. Schedule More Time to Be Creative
A few months ago, I read The Gift of Imperfection by Brene Brown in which she discusses how to live a wholehearted life. One of the ways she proposes we do this is to take time for creativity. Humans need creative outlets. We need to express ourselves in unconventional ways. I am a highly creative person (my degree is in musical theater), and it wasn't until I read Dr. Brown's book that I realized how much of my own creativity I had sacrificed once I started a family. No matter how much creativity was a part of your pre-mom life, it's a habit that more people fall into than they realize. In order to follow through all year, you may need to schedule creative time. It seems counter-productive (isn't creativity supposed to be spontaneous?), but that's exactly the point. How often have you been spontaneously creative in the past few years? How's that going for you? Get yourself a planner and write that creative time in! Whether it's arts and crafts with your kids or your girlfriends, writing, a dance class, DO IT FOR YOURSELF.
3. Pray Daily
Maybe 2021 is the year you're going to get your prayer life in order. God took us on quite the journey in 2020, and I don't know about you, but I sure learned a lot about my relationship with Him during it. Daily prayer can be hard. It's so easy to get swept up in the activities of the day that you forget to remember about God. Been there. Still there. But with a firm commitment, daily prayer can be a thing. At first, you may have to try different times of day to see if one is best for you, but you'll get there. Remember, prayer isn't necessarily sitting in a quiet room with a rosary and some lit candles. You can journal your prayers. You can meditate to praise and worship music. You can read the bible. Prayer is a conversation with God and can be achieved in any way that works best for you. Just remember that it's not always about asking. It's also about listening.
4. Practice Gratitude
This was another thing Brene Brown inspired me to do in her book. Finding ways to be grateful each day will lead us to a more joyful life. For Christmas, I was given this gratitude journal by two members of my prayer group. It only asks you to find three things each day that you're grateful for. That doesn't seem so bad in the big scheme of things! The more you do it, the easier it will become. This is one resolution that I am definitely planning on keeping in 2021. We can all stand for a little more joy in the New Year.
5. Monthly Date with Kids
After being forced to spend more time with my family this year, I got to see just how cool my son is. I never had the opportunity to stay home with him for long periods of time before COVID. Perhaps you were in the same boat. In 2021, let's be intentional about spending one-on-one quality time with our kids. I have a friend who gives each of her three kids what she calls a "Gift of Love." They decide together on an activity that is relatively inexpensive, and they pick a date sometime in the year to do it. Maybe you can challenge yourself to make that a monthly thing. Go out for ice cream. Hike your favorite trail. Have a picnic in the park. Stay in for a mom and me movie night complete with popcorn and jammies. After this life-changing year, our kids need us to give them a sense of normalcy. They need our undivided attention once in a while so they can feel seen and heard and special.
6. Monthly Date with Spouse
Again, it doesn't have to be anything expensive or, better yet, it could be free! It's important to nurture the relationship with our spouse. We don't want to end up married to a stranger once our kids are grown and out of the house. Taking some alone time away from kids and bills and household schedules is necessary for maintaining a healthy, vibrant relationship with your partner. My husband and I were given The Date Night Bucket List as a wedding present. It makes coming up with date night ideas easy and painless, and many of the options don't cost anything!
7. Eat Dinner as a Family Every Night (or as often as possible)
I know it's not always possible to eat dinner as a family. Some people travel for work like my husband. Youth sports will become a thing again soon. I get it. But let me tell you a story. I grew up with four younger siblings, and while not all of us did activities at the same time, sometimes things overlapped. We still sat down for dinner as a family almost every night with a yummy meal prepared usually by my dad. I would often take the leftovers for lunch when I was in high school, and my friends would say things to me like, "That looks so good! Last night I ate a peanut butter sandwich in my room. We don't do family dinners." It never occurred to me that my parents were intentionally creating that environment and that other parents did not. Family dinner was foundational for me. It was the one thing I was determined to bring to my marriage and will not sacrifice for anything. You can do this, too! When activities are allowed again, find a way to schedule dinner around them. It's never too late to start spending family time together.
8. No Phone Time
Guys, this one is SO HARD. I find myself reaching for my phone when I should be on the floor playing with my son, and I constantly kick myself for it. BUT I KEEP DOING IT. Phones, tablets, you name it - they are addictive! This year, we can resolve to be intentional with our time. We can set specific times as a family to shut our phones off or, at the very least, put them away...in another room...on silent. It sounds impossible; I know. But the benefits have to outweigh the mindless scrolling that eats at our brain. We'll be spending more time as a family, making memories and learning about each other. All of those things are so important. We can do it, guys.
9. Explore a Back-Burner Interest
This one sort of goes in hand with number two. 2020 taught us that life can change at any moment. We shouldn't let opportunities go, and we shouldn't "wait until tomorrow." Tomorrow is not garaunteed. So do that thing that you've always been meaning to do. Learn that thing you've always been meaning to learn. Write that book. Take that class. Invest in yourself and your happiness. Your family will thank you.
10. Give Yourself Permission to Be Spontaneous
After the year we've had, it might be hard for some of us to remember what spontenaity looks like. Some of us might never have been good at it to begin with. But it's not healthy to have every minute of every day planned. Believe me. I know. We need to leave some room to play. We need to give ourselves the grace to skip a portion of the routine and take an unplanned trip to the Disney Store, even if it's just to look around and watch your child get excited to see all their favorite characters. We're allowed to get Starbucks once in awhile. It's okay to leave the dishes in the sink and have a water gun fight in the backyard. But we need to tell ourselves it's okay, especially if you're wired like me to follow the rules and stick to the script. This year, we can resolve to loosen our grip on the plans and go with the flow.
Whatever your resolution for 2021, remember that you're only human. You will drop the ball. You will forget about it, and life will get in the way. Forgive yourself. Start fresh on May 1st or September 8th or whenever it is you realize you haven't stuck to the resolution. It's only a failure if you don't try again.
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